शाम

छोटी छोटी खुशियों की तालाश में,
धीरे धीरे पिघलती जाती है ज़िन्दगी हर शाम,
कभी नौकरी, कभी अजनबी तो कभी अपने आप की तलाश,
कभी कभी सोचती हूँ तुम्हारे बारे में,
पर शायद धुंधली हो जाती है यादे भी उम्र के साथ,
अब तुम्हारा ना आना भी बुरा नहीं लगता,
ढून्ढ लिया है अब मैंने अकेलेपन में ही आराम!

YOU

The day when all the faces seem blurred as if they don't matter. When every word that you hear is muffled beyond comprehension. When the only thing you can foucus on are your thoughts.
Today is one such day. When the entire world is depopulated and only you and me exist.

Couples i've known over the years.

*The other half in the relationship becomes your universe. Your entire life revolves around them. Having a sense of location is a good feeling but sometimes it makes you sick. But you still keep revolving, because that is what you know best*

The perfect misfit.

Unusual sights never fail to amuse us. And you rarely come across something/somebody that captures your imagination and makes you think about its fragile existence. Like the tiny kitten that i encountered on a sidewalk near my house. A white colored creature with green hopeful eyes. She seemed like a perfect misfit. She just wasn't suppose to be there, she belonged someplace else, some place better. After a few days of feeding her and trying to talk to her, i looked forward to seeing her every evening and i always saw her all curled up in a lil corner, almost invisible to the rest of the world.
And one day i couldn't find her anywhere on that sidewalk. The wonderful creature was gone. Maybe to a place where it did fit. But the sidewalk was never the same again.
This is the case with us all, we just never seem to fit at the place we are. We always want to go to a place where we think we belong. But as and when we leave, we leave behind us an empty space that might be filled sooner or later. But it can never be the same again. No matter whatever/whoever happens.

Say it out, loud.

Say it before the night ends.
Say it before the truth bends.
Say it before you lose a friend.
Say it and let your inhibitions shed.
Say it so that you aren't alone where you stand.
Say it otherwise the world will never understand.

Duality of mind.

Even you are emotional..but you are trying so hard that your emotions become dysfunctional. You won’t ever pour your heart out in front of anybody but deep inside you, there is everything that you keep running from...love, angst, pain.. And trust me the more you run the more trapped you’ll be because there are things that all of us don’t wanna admit, not even to ourselves..but they are right there inside us and they will keep haunting us till we don’t make them a part of our reality.

You Oughta know What's real.

The time has come,
to face the sun.
To look you in the eye,
And tell you, i was just having fun.

They say there is light,
at the end of the tunnel.
I don't see light,
i only see trouble.

Stories.

A billion stories,
most of them unknown.
Buried, lying, waiting,
on these streets,
we have forever known!

A Surreal Date!

The place is filled with the ghosts of the past,
And a few mortals who seem to be drinking too fast,

My favorite music is pouring into my ears
and i am waiting for my head to clear,

I look at you, a lot more closely
Today you are special,
Not just another one in the group.

I reach out for my LIIT,
that is what will set me free,
Make me talk and not just see,

The glass is cold and it tastes just right,
And seeing you having that whiskey seems to be a perfect sight,

Its our song so why not sing along,
We spoke of life and things ahead
and how he knows more than everything i have ever read.

The end of all inhibitions and fears,
And of all the things i didn't get to hear.

Questioning the rain.

The constant sound of rain, pouring into my ears
Drops against my window pane
I want to feel them in my face,
Not only see them falling in the infinite open space
My thoughts are fickle and make no sense
Just like the rain which doesn’t know when to fall on the other side of the fence.

In the end...only you remain!!

Shackles o loneliness on my body,
Are now cutting into my flesh,

The blood pouring out,
Is painting them red,

Freedom isn't something that's on my mind,
It’s you and the pain inside,

The pain is brutal
And m losing myself,

There is nothing that I can do,
Just wait for you!
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Blinding lights,
Fading my vision.
.
.
Deafening silence
Is it time yet?
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.
I am free after all

From disgrace and false praise
From everything
That never came


But I want to tell you that,

Everything out here bears a faint resemblance with you

The clouds
The stars
The angels

All of them remind me of you!!

Revelation.

An obsolete closed closet,
is what i have become.

With things buried in my heart,
And waiting for love to last

Uncertain & succumbing,
Wandering in the shadows o the woods.

Where ghosts of the past still remain,
And timelessness prevails....

Dying to live..

There is life and there is death..
and in between are things unsaid,

When the sun is dull
and your life..seemingly full,

Some creatures are looking down on the earth
wondering why, a ship sails through an ocean,

Why people keep running in circles
why is it all so shallow, when it should be deep,

Is this what they call life and being,

The clock is ticking at a rapid pace
i am scared that nothing will be left of my face,

Are we all waiting for our death row
or a better life in charade,

One day,
I shall smile and it will be mine
and then there will be no fear no pain
It will be right there... waiting with my name..!!

The Unheard!! (All that i have told you a thousand times)

When the space is wide
Between your heart and mine
There is so much that
you could have done to make it fine
And then you say you did....so much for me
But i didn't let you in
Is it so baby..??
Y didn't you try and knock again
I was waiting and i still am
For you to come and tell me
that things will be alright
that you are still there by my side
You admit to your faults
But have you ever thought of correcting them all
No baby you dont want me
All you want is yourself only
its too early for you to feel the pain
And when you will it will be too late
I have loved you and i always will
But its hard to wait till eternity!!!!

All that you cant leave behind!!

A love that was born so strong
But was forced to die
Till all the signs were out of sight
It took you a minute
And me a life
to come out of all the mess you left behind!!

When you Know, You are not Alone!!

It was a lonely night
With absolutely no light
There was tenderness in the wind
And thunderous thoughts racing through my mind

Walking down to the abyss of the unknown
I saw a faint light...
I started walking towards the light...
Which was getting dimmer by the mile


I thought of running...
but something told me that it will all be wasted
But you cant know if its good...
Till the time...its not tasted


So should i run to the light
or should i wait for the night...
My mind wrestled
Perplexed thoughts entwined...


I just ran(not knowing why)
to the light..as if running for Life
I never knew i so wanted things to change
I hate the way its been all these days


Wasted Years...Is it fair?
Living in the shadows of a barless prison
Waiting for a change of season
Will i ever reach the light??

Shutting thoughts out of my mind
Still running to the light
Frisky me! Now disillusioned and tired
Trying to find a way out of the anguished mire

Now that the light is near..
there is not a mile that i can bear..
panting heavily...and my lips parched
The distance seemed perpetual

I stopped to catch my breath
and turned around to look
at all the distance i had left behind
Amazed i stood...unable to move..
Seeing all those who were running behind..

Oh Lord! again i was one in the herd...
Its enough...i just dont want to run!!!

Thinking of a Beautiful world

I just woke up, none was true...far from you,
A tangled dream...dreamed out!!
Nothing left to figure out,
What if my god abandoned me????
What if it wasnt the way i see..????
Don't want no persistent dreams...!!
When will these memories stop haunting me??
Why cant it be a beautiful world...
I want to breathe life again...because something dies in me...everytime you falsify me!!!!

Stop looking for a way out!!!!!!!!!!

The stars are all tied, and hidden from the sky
Darkness pervades the celestial kingdom.
You cant be seen because yor were never there,
Unyielding prayers are filling the air,
Crying stars...now smoking Marijuana,
Trying to get rid of the deepseated disdain,
After a few drags.....Solace is coming to life,
Its nice to know that you all are still alive,
You got a lot of living to do..without life..!!

Jus anotha RAPE!!

Lyk ne otha gurl….she was full o desires n dreams..
Walkin down d street…thinking o a fren she hd to meet.
But it was getting dark n late…so she thought o avoidin her mate

Hurryin back home in worry….
Al o a sudden…a car stops…
D nxt thing she knoes…shes dragged in…
Her screams fill d air…but no one hears..
The door closes…d car races…on a ride
Wid d innocent inside..

Dey force demselves into her…
Ova n ova again..despite d cries

She pleads…… Mercy! Mercy!
But d devils don’t care
Shes vociferating, but shes nt spared

And den wat seemed an eternity…shes thrown off d car
Wid multiple scars..both on body n soul
N dere dey go on d roll
She tries to move…but shes trampled by pain
Alas! her efforts r in vain

There she lies not knowing what to do
Shes plunged into darkness..too maddening to b known

She wakes up in a hospital bed…
Wid ppl al around her…al eyes filled wid…pity, loathe n blame
She closes her eyes tryin to escape d shame
Her mind contemplatin d life ahead…
A life o neverendin agony…coupled wid her unrequited dreams..

She prays dat her end shld b near…
Coz sympathy is wat she cant bear..
Irony is, everyone around..talks o justice…
Wen d bastards r out…Scott free…
On sum otha Heinous spree…
Oh lord…wen ll she b heard?
I reckon..never!!


For creeps it was jus sex….for her a kind o death…
For us jus anotha case o rape…
Sum ll see it..othas ll giv it a miss….coz most o us think..dis is how d condition is…
A piece o news for al o us..dat ll go stale in a while…but trust me..dat gurl ll neva smile!!